Ka Bear

A few months ago (well more like over a year ago), I told some friends at Starbucks one day that I really didn't have any real tradgic happen in my life. Things had been pretty simple. I really can't remember a lot about my childhood. I don't know why. I don't think that I had a bad one. Just don't remember much. My parents divorced but I don't have any lasting scars from it.

Well, lets just say that the last two months have been enough to fill up a life time for me. If God is trying to get my attention, he has it fully now. Late this summer, I remember feeling like God was preparing me for something. Little did I know that it was a bunch of somethings. I thought that what ever it was was going to be so great. Ya well, I haven't seen anything that great. Of course with God, you normally don't see the good until you look back. You don't see His plan while you are in the midst of it. But you can always see it looking back. At this point in my life, I am ready to look back. I am wanting all of this stuff to stop. Whatever you want God, I am all ears for you.

Many of you know that I was heading to Llano this last weekend to visit with G and to go back to my Dad's house. All the way down there, I prayed and cried that God would take the pain away that I was expecting to feel when walking into my Dad's house. Knowing that he wasn't going to be there to wrap his arms around me and say "Hey, baby." I just knew that it was going to be hard for me.

I never got to experience that grief. No, Kayla had a seizure about an hour after we got to Gs. We rushed her to the ER and they admitted us into the hospital. We were there all weekend. She proceeded to have 2 more seizures while we were there. The doctors couldn't determine what is wrong except that she has ear infections. The infections cause the fever. The fever causes the seizure. My poor baby. She hasn't had a febrile seizure in almost 2 years. The docs told us that she would grow out of them and we thought that she had. All of Kayla's tests came back normal except for an infection. They let us come home on Sunday night. We went to see her regular pediatrician on Monday. She says the same thing. Febrile seizures. This just frustrates me. I want answers. I think that we are missing something. I rack my brain for something to ties all this together. But, ultimately, I have to put my faith in God. He knows what is happening. He is her Healer. I have to put my trust in Him.

Putting my trust in Him....what does that look like? I don't know....but I am trying to find out. There is a song that I have had in my head for days now and something that I need to learn to do....Live for Today. "I'm going to live for today. I'm gonna follow in Your way. I'm gonna let me little light shine like there is no tomorrow. I won't worry about the past. I know my future is in tack. So, Ill choose to live my life one way. I'm gonna live for today." That is what I am choosing to do today.

Guess who? I know Its ME!!!!!

So, those of you who are updated when I post something, you are very shocked right now. I can't believe my last post was in April. There has been so much happen in my life that I am not sure that I can remember it all to tell you.

I guess the best way for me to catch you up is for me to talk about the most current things and then work my way back.

Well, the most prominent thing that has happened is that my Daddy died last month in a tragic plane crash on November 8th, 2009. He was flying two of his grandsons from G's side of the family home to Houston. They had come for a weekend visit as they had for years. Dad and G had just bought their dream plane. They were very excited to pick up the boys. Thankfully G wasn't with them on the flight home or we would be mourn loosing her too. This last month has been very difficult for my family. The range of emotions that we have experienced is vast and long. The question of why has been looming over us for a month now and possibly will for years. We will never know the answer. Well, we will never have an Earthly answer. One thing that gives me some comfort is that Daddy died doing what he loved. Flying. I pray that none of them knew what was happening and that they were not scared. I have been doing a lot of reading on grief. One of the stories that I read was about a woman whose heart stopped in the emergency room. While the doctors were working on her to bring her back, she left her body. She could see the docs below and she could see her body. But what she experienced in those few seconds was a pure joy and happiness that no one could ever imagine. This woman could feel her body pulling her back and she said that she fought it with all that she had because she didn't want to give up what she was feeling. Now, I don't know if any of that made since to you, but I hope that is what Daddy, Dylan and Brendon experienced. I could go on and on about this subject and I probably will again in future posts but right now I must go on to post different things.

Lets see November and December have been really crappy months for our family. There is some stuff going on right now with my sister and her husbands family. Can't go into detail but I would appreciate all of you praying for the Boisvert family. I have a cousin who is having some health problems. He is young and shouldn't be having the issues that he is having. I also have another cousin who is hopefully recovering from alcoholism. Gets out of rehab in a few days. I can't wait to see where the Lord takes him from here. I pray healing for him and his family. They have a long road ahead of them.

To the least of my worries, I came home a couple of days ago to a busted water pipe in the back yard. Anyone want to pay my water bill? I am sooo thankful for a husband who can fix things. Although, I didn't have to cook supper that night.....can't cook without water. No worries though. Andy was sure to have it working that night for showers and such.

I got a new job in June. Surprise, surprise. You probably already knew that. I love my job. I also love the money that comes with it. Ha Ha.

Keeli and Kayla turned another year older. Can you believe that I have a 5 and 3 year old? Man how time flies. They have sure been a God send these past few months. They keep me laughing.

September - we went to Dad's for Labor Day. Played in the Llano river. Took the girls and G to Schneider's slab. I am so glad that I made that trip. I will cherish the memories. Oh, and this toothless, shirtless, not so skinny, Indian dude told me that I was hot. Nice huh? Don't be jealous!

August - can't think of anything....

July - we went to Haslett (sp) to see our dearest friends for the 4th. Oh, we had a fabulous time! Cool fireworks!

I know that I have probably missed thousands of things that have happened since I last posted. Oh well, my mind is a blur these days. I have decided to use this blog for many tools.

1. To keep everyone who is not on facebook up to date on what is going on.

2. To use it as a tool to work thru my grief.

3. To thank people who mean so much in my life....I have many good friends that I thank God for everyday. Without you, I would be even more lost.... ( stay tuned, I will thank you in my future posts.)

Well, time to go pick up the little ones. love to all

Spring Program

Keeli and Stripey

The girls had their Spring Program at school a week ago. I thought that I would share some pics from it. They are both getting so big. Keeli is quite the performer! Kayla got the hang of by the end of the last song. Too cute of course!

The girls before the performance.

Keeli and some of her friends

Kayla and some of her friends

This little light of mine!

Kayla and a friend watching their big sisters

Keeli posing for the camera

Catching Up!

OMG! I can't believe that it has been 3+ months since I have last posted anything to the blog. I know that you faithful blog followers are disappointed (I know those faithfuls are out there. Right?)

Well, my last post was in November, so let me see if I can catch everyone up.

Lets see, a lot of junk happened over the Christmas holidays. For one, my Mom broke her back. Don't worry. She is doing very well now. She had surgery. The docs put cement in her back. She had to wear a brace for several weeks. But now, she is back to her semi old-semi new self!

During the time my mom was in the hospital, I sent the girls to visit their Aunt Ada. And they brought something home with them. Lice! Man, I could not get rid of them! They came back 3 times! We have now been lice free for about 3 weeks. Those suckers just would not die!!!!! So, if you ever have lice, call me. I know how to treat them! :)

Most of you know that I had been working part time while the girls were in school. Well, that ended soon after the new year. I have been looking for a full time job now for weeks. This economy is terrible here. Well, I have to be honest. I haven't been looking very hard. I have mixed feelings about going back to work. We need the money but I really have enjoyed being home with the girls and I am not sure that I want to give that up. Something will come along. I am putting my trust in God. I try not to worry too much about the future. I know that HE has it in HIS hands and I take peace in that.

Andy has started a new endeavor. He has been cleaning a tank out for a dad to a friend of his. It has kinda turned into a job for him. I loves playing in the dirt so I pray that it works out for him.

I stepped down from MOPS about 3 weeks ago. It was very hard for me because I love the ministry and I love giving back. I have met some of my best friends through MOPS and I pray that it continues to build friendships for other moms. I had to let go. First, because I am "supposed" to go back to work and also because Andy asked me to. He says it was stressing me out. I don't think that it was but I am honoring him.

The weather is getting so nice here. I could do without the wind but I am loving the sunshine. I tried taking the girls fishing last week. Augh! That is so hard. I thought that it was going to be a lot easier this year since they are a year older. Nope! They still fight! Keeli's pole was broken so I didn't even take hers to the tank. I thought that she could use Kayla's. Well, Kayla remembered that was her pole from last year so they fought over that. Fine, I went and got Keeli's pole. The tip had broken on the end so I just made it a shorter pole. I tried not to put a hook on either of their poles for safety reasons. But, Keeli figured that out too. So, I hooked and baited Keeli's pole. Then I was terrified that Keeli would hook Kayla. But the time I got everyone's pole in the water, they were tired and wanted to go home! Augh! When will they learn to love fishing as much as me? So the next day, Keeli went to a friends house to play and Kayla fell asleep in the truck. I had some free time. So I drove down to the tank and left the truck running while I fished a while. I catch a nice catfish! Well, nice meaning that it was long but my mom says that it was skinny. Hopefully that is just because it hasn't had anything to eat all summer.

I think that pretty much sums it up. The girls are doing well. I will post some pics. Keeli is ready for Spring and Summer so that we can go swimming in Romona's pool (smile Romona!). Kayla is such a joy right now. I have always said that if I could pop out two year olds and they never got younger or older, then I would have a million of them. I just love this age. She is so sweet and SHE DOESN'T BACK TALK ME!

My Movie Star!

Trip to the zoo with friends.

Daddy dressed his little girl.

Family going dancin at The Grand Ol Oplin.

Celebrated a year since Kayla was in the hospital.

Keeli took scissors to her hair so I had to cut it all off.

This was the girls yesterday for school. It was picture day.